Last week, I revisited my Fallen Angel series by Mary Jo Putney. I have all of them except Shattered Rainbows and River of Fire, because initially I wasn't as intrigued by Michael's story (Shattered Rainbows) and I'm not a fan of the name Kenneth (River of Fire). I'm big about sexy names in historical romances because if I'm stuck reading a story with characters called "Thomas" or "Jane", I think I'd die of boredom. So in this sense, the Fallen Angel series is near-perfect because the original quartet of sexy British lords are named Nicholas, Rafael, Lucien and Michael. 

I just went to Putney's website and saw that Thunder & Roses, Nicholas' story, has been reissued as "Fallen Angel". That kinda sucks because the original title was lovely and I don't see why there must be an obvious reference to the Fallen Angels circle - it's enough that you know these four sexy men are 'fallen', if you get what I mean. Anyhow, Nicholas and Rafe's stories are my favourites of the series - their names played a huge part, of course - and I enjoy re-reading them from time to time. It also helps that the women they end up with have nice, decent names (Clare, Margot). I think I wouldn't have enjoyed the stories as much if Nicholas had ended up with a female called Anna - that would be SO bland. 

I'm very picky about the names of characters in the historical romances I read. So I have a dozen books with repetitive names - stuff like Nicholas, Max, Alexander, feature regularly, haha. There are a couple with Lucien/Lucian, Evan, Gavin, Stefan/Stephen as well. I just can't stand reading boring names, they make a character boring. Even if the story is darn good, if a character has a bleh name like Richard, then ewww. Give me a Rafael any day.

So this translates to my being very picky about the names I use for my own writing and characters. If I like a name enough, I will reuse it. I've had a handful of stories where the protagonists were Louis/Jessica (Louis Koo played a part, but I don't mind the name Louis that much), and I've reused Max three times. Max is officially my favourite name, followed very closely by Rafael, Nicholas, Alexander and Gavin (all ranked 2nd after Max, haha). I think there's something very sexy about the name Max (or in its full form Maximilian, spelt with an 'a', thank you very much). Just the name itself exudes sexiness, power and charisma. Very "dark, brooding, handsome" type of name. I also quite like Julian, Daniel and Flynn - Mai always teases me about Flynn, I don't understand why - and Stefan (not so much Stephen, though, and Esteban is kinda bleh, but Stefano is cool). 

Speaking of British lords and back to the Fallen Angel series, Rafe has to be my favourite duke out of all the historical romances I've read. He's just so powerfully sexy, and jealous - I quite like how he gets all uptight about Margot because he loves her so much. And he's a duke! I love dukes. In the story, his title is Duke of Candover - that's got to be the best made-up title I've read about. Then we have the Earl of Aberdare (Nicholas), Earl of Strathmore (Lucien) and just Lord Michael (since he's the 2nd son, his elder brother Stephen is the Duke of Ashburton). Even their surnames are sexy: Nicholas Davies, Rafael Whitbourne, Lucien Fairchild, Michael Kenyon - very British surnames, but mmm, sexy men make surnames sexy. Yes, I think this is my favourite quartet of sexy historical characters, yum. I had a bit of a Rafe craving and went back to read his story (and bits of him in the other books) and just fell in love with him all over again. As Clare described him:

The duke was tall, handsome, and almost as dark as Nicholas, with an aristocratic air that she guessed was as natural to him as breathing. Polite, pleasant, controlled - the very picture of a proper English gentleman.

And Rafe has grey eyes. That must be lovely. I haven't met anyone with grey eyes, but I'm sure whoever it is would look stunning. Besides, I like dark-haired men. I'm just not that interested in blond people. 

And one of the cutest bit of the Rafe-Nicholas friendship is this (in Thunder & Roses):

Nicholas watched sardonically. When Rafe reached him, he said, "You're even better at terrorizing the impertinent than you were four years ago."

"I should hope so," Rafe replied with a lazy smile. "I've been practicing."

*cues girlish giggles* I found that really cute. 

I know it's kind of silly to like fictional characters so much, but when the world is full of crappy people, knowing that you can find more decent folk in books and gain some peace and happiness when reading must be therapeutic. Fictional characters at least follow some sort of writing logic that everything must ultimately make sense, and (historical) romances always have that happy-ever-after ending - can't say the same for the real world, everything is just screwy. I won't be able to find a Rafe or Nicholas in real life, but it doesn't hurt to retreat into something familiar once in a while. 

I miss Max Cohen and Rafael Vasquez. But they don't exist.

junny@7am

Went out with June to eat the Japanese buffet at Hilton. She was supposed to treat me to dinner to celebrate my birthday, but we were both broke and needed to save $$, so we ended up going Dutch... pretty much. Come to think of it, we'd gone to the same Japanese buffet a year ago. Next year, she won't be celebrating my birthday with me, nor I with her - she'd be in Sydney pursuing her masters, while I... jeez, I have no idea where I'll be this time next year. 

Still, we had a great pig-out session and enjoyed ourselves. The buffet was good, company was great, and that's all you can ask for in life, I guess. I had a sashimi craving for the better part of the last couple of weeks and developed a new liking for yellowtail, it was very good. Salmon really has to be eaten raw and no other way. We each had two bowls of noodles, shared two plates of teppanyaki, and also polished off two flasks of chilled sake - actually nihonshu (日本酒), because sake is just 酒 in general for the Japanese, and don't get me started on the types of nihonshu - but I did most of the polishing since she was driving. For convenience's sake, I will call it sake. June said she didn't like it heated, which was how we'd had it the first time we tried the buffet, and I have to admit chilled sake is nicer. But heated sake is also lovely, especially during cold days. 

For me, sake is an acquired taste, like much of Japanese cuisine. I'm not a huge fan of the culture or history, but have a soft spot for the country. My first snow sighting was in Japan, way up in the north in Hokkaido. That was also where I first skied, went dog-sledding and snow trekking, among other lovely memories. Japan was also where I learnt to cultivate an appreciation of sake (can't do it anywhere else, seriously) and a liking for sakura (never previously understood the huge fuss about the cherry blossom season). I even got to visit a samurai village. By visiting some off-the-beaten track places, I got to see the Japan that tourists to Tokyo and other more popular destinations might not have encountered. I wouldn't consider living in Korea, but am not averse to a move to Japan. Pity I can't speak a word of Japanese and am not inclined to learn. 

Anyhow, I can say I prefer sake to soju, because the latter is stronger than I'd like and because soju stinks. I like my reds strong, but I can't abide by an alcoholic drink that stinks. But the sake we had at the buffet was pleasant and I really liked it. I'd had my fair share of sake in Japan and although it's funny to say it, there's nothing like enjoying good sake in the land of its birth. When it's cold, you drink heated sake to keep warm, better still if you're with people who enjoy drinking as a whole. I guess it's just me, but I don't understand how people can abstain from alcohol their whole lives. Fine by me if you have a medical condition which prevents you from going near alcohol, but otherwise, a little bit isn't going to kill you. 

Prior to meeting up, I'd gone to get a couple of bars of Dr Bronner's soap. Raz is using the liquid version and he says it's good. But the soap bar is almost $4 cheaper than the liquid version, so I grabbed two to try. I'm on the lookout for products not tested on animals, and this is just one of them. June was kinda amused, but for me, I'm just not comfortable knowing that the stuff I put on my face and body to satisfy my vanity is the result of torturing defenceless animals. Like I said, we may not be able to help the food we eat, but we can do something about the products we use. I get peace of mind that way. 

On the way to get the soap, I had to ask an auntie for help because I didn't know how to get to the blasted place - it was so out of the way. This resulted in a 15-minute walk from the train station to the shop, both of us chatting in Hokkien. This is nothing short of amazing because my Hokkien isn't the best (I'm better at understanding than speaking) and the auntie kept repeating something which I eventually figured to be some variation of 'warehouse', since the building where the shop is located is pretty much one of those that houses several small establishments. The result of that was that my feet had blisters all over because I cannot wear heeled shoes properly and I had to hop over to the nearest convenience store to get some plasters. I think I'm destined to wear flats for the rest of my life unless my toes are covered in plasters before I put them through the torture of heeled shoes. Thank god I'm not pint-sized. I hate heels.

Wafe is fast asleep on my bed. I guess that's a sign I should zzz soon. I love my baby. 

junny@7.38am

I'm feeling sorry for myself but I'm allowed to, so fuck off if you're going to give me a lecture.

I've always known it, but it just gets more depressing when you come face to face with it. A law degree doesn't open all doors, in fact it is more of a stumbling block than one can imagine. I don't understand why it's so highly valued. But I'm bitter, eh.

I've always liked history (more ancient than modern) and languages, but got horribly swayed (by the parents and my own personal issues back then) and ended up reading law. To make up for the torture, I took as many arts-related modules as I could in my third and fourth years. Other than Jurisprudence and the compulsory law courses such as Evidence and Property law, everything else was arts-related. So I did modules on history, literature, film, philosophy, art and politics and scored well in them. Reason was very simple - I enjoyed what I was doing. 

My only regret is that throughout my education, other than at A-Levels, I never got to do much of Greek history. Alexander the Great is my favourite historical figure, but I never got the chance to learn more about him. Maybe if I'd written a thesis on him, I might not fear dissertations or having to defend them as much. But now, trying to apply for any Classics-related MA programme is a bitch because I don't have sufficient grounding in the field. I can't read Greek or Latin, my Italian is shit, and my law degree is pretty much useless. Nobody gives a damn about a law degree these days. 

McGill has a marvellous Classics programme which I am totally not qualified for. They also have an Ancient History programme that I won't be doing because even if I apply, my application won't be considered. Edinburgh says sorry, my law degree ain't enough but I'm still welcome to apply and highlight the history stuff I did back in uni - that's as good as saying I can waste my time but don't expect them to waste theirs by giving me a spot. I wish there was a university that would just let me study whatever I want without all this crap about qualifications or theses or research papers. Sure I can just read up on Greek history in my spare time, but it's... different, you know, doing it on your own and doing it in school. 

Whatever. I've submitted an application to Edinburgh for Translation Studies and am just waiting for Prof M and Lennie to send their references. I have no doubt that I won't be selected, but whatever, I'm just trying my luck. I know I can't get into any sort of Classics programme, so Translation Studies is the next best thing. But oh well, I'm just taking it one day at a time. 

I've rediscovered Chage & Aska, I love their voices. I didn't even know they sang some of these old classics that you always hear on TV, for example On Your Mark. What can I say? I'm getting old and can't stand the new crappy stuff that comes out on the airwaves these days, teenyboppers who warble their way through trying to look cute in their skimpy underwear. Give me real music please.

junny@6.24am

Happy Halloween! I don't celebrate it, since we don't have that tradition here. Anyway, I can't imagine myself going trick-or-treating! 

Gave Wafe a bath today, finally! My baby was largely good during the bath save for the meows, but did attempt to swipe at me a few times when he felt I was paying too much attention to his paws. Since it was raining, I gave him a warm bath - usually I just use lukewarm water - and now he's almost dry and smells marvellous. Baths get easier once pets get used to them, but oh it takes some getting used to. Wafe has had 4 years! Still, he's not averse to being clean, so all is good!

I love rainy days, they're awesome. Just seeing the rain pelt down makes my day. I know some people don't like rainy days because they're cold and you can't really get anything done, but maybe rainy days are there to remind us that we need to sit back and relax once in a while, and that no matter how powerful man has made himself out to be, nature still reigns supreme.

junny@8.40pm

Lately, Wafe has been using the cat tree that I received for my birthday last year. This is nothing short of a miracle, albeit a mini one, because he'd largely ignored the cat tree other than to use it to launch an attack on my ankles. However, he's been using the tree's scratching post and this is very good news because he'll ease off wearing down my cardboard boxes - which are already in tatters. 

The cat tree is a nice height because Wafe can jump up on the platform and perch there. He doesn't often do it, though he jumps up there to dry himself after baths. He likes to tunnel through the hole sometimes when he's being sneaky, and you know how cats are so silent when they walk. Dave was astonished that Wafe had finally decided to use the cat tree, but you know how cats are, you just can't force them to do what they don't want. So I figured it might have been because I shifted the tree's position from near the doorway to further into the room, that was why Wafe eventually deigned to try it. So it is a good thing after all. He still likes to scratch wherever he feels like it, but at least he's using the tree's scratching post!

I also put up a Flickr for Wafe. Check it out here.

So I found my transcript. Boy, I never realised I'd never opened the envelope since it was sent to me yonks back. This should-I-go-to-grad-school thing has been so back and forth, I'd lost count of the times I felt that maybe I should go, only to chicken out because I didn't find anything I wanted to do, and I wanted specifically to avoid writing a dissertation. But McGill doesn't have what I want, so perhaps I should get over my fear of dissertations and give it a shot. I might not even get in, but who knows, right? I'll get the transcript scanned and get around to sending the application soonish. 

And I know you don't really visit this blog anymore, but happy belated birthday, Bingy! I miss you and hope all is well with you.

junny@4.10am

Today I was scared out of my wits. Wafe actually leapt onto the ledge of the backyard wall and could have jumped out like the previous two times. I was terrified and panicking and yelled his name repeatedly, and fortunately he turned around and jumped back into the backyard, knocking over the flower pot on the ledge in the process. I was so relieved, yet angry and worried and all, and my emotions were all over the place. I grabbed Wafe and hugged him tightly and scolded him too for scaring me. I don't know if my kitty understood me, but I thank the heavens that he didn't jump out like the previous times. 

Moiny says I must think positive, that Wafe jumped back when I called. I think that split second when he was on the ledge and deciding whether to go out or back in was one of the most terrifying moments in my life. I told mom not to let Wafe out in the backyard and she agreed. At the very least, I must be there to watch him and I must be more vigilant in making sure he's safe. I know people think I'm paranoid and all, but how would you like it if you lost something or someone incredibly precious to you, knowing that you could have taken measures to prevent the loss? All I know is that I want to keep Wafe safe with me at all costs. I don't care what anyone says about it. I don't want another experience like this. I just want my cat safe with me.

Update about the cosmetics: both Hourglass and Missha emailed me back to say they don't test on animals. Missha USA even promised to ask the main Korean company why it is still not on PETA's list and that it'd get back to me on that. So I guess I won't have to return the products, though I'd think twice about shopping at Sephora again. The damn place doesn't do cash refunds. 

junny@6.02am

Went shopping yesterday and picked up pet food as well on the way back. There's a new Sephora store in town (well, not too new since it's been around for a bit now, but I'm a practising hermit, okay?) and I checked it out because I was in need of some basic cosmetics and stuff. I've been trying to buy skincare products and cosmetics that aren't tested on animals, but there's just such an overload of data about which company is safe and which isn't, sometimes it's hard to tell and you just have to go with gut feel and hope you've bought the right thing.

So I bought a compact foundation from Hourglass Cosmetics, but am now having second thoughts because I emailed the company to ask about its animal testing policy and it hasn't replied. The product cover does say "product not tested on animals" and it's on PETA's list of safe companies, but well... I guess I'm just praying for a positive reply before Monday or I may have to return it to the store. Also stopped by Jurlique's counter and got a couple of samples (miserable-sized ones) for their cleansers - I would have loved to try, but this is a bloody expensive brand, so maybe I'll try when I feel richer because it does have some lovely things. 

Then hopped off to Missha and got a cleanser, eye cream and anti-blemish cream, and a bunch of freebies to boot. I have been using on and off Missha's face masks and like them a lot, so it was a relief to find that they have a store here. And they don't do animal testing, so that's the cool thing about it. They're not on PETA's list of safe companies, but when that list includes dubious ones like The Body Shop, I just dunno. Originally The Body Shop was free of animal testing, but since it's been bought over by L'Oreal, which still does animal testing, you never know where your monies spent on Body Shop products will end up. A lot of companies still aren't clear about their testing policies. A company may say its "finished product" is not tested on animals, but what about the ingredients? Or they could pay a third-party laboratory to do the testing? You never know. 

I'm slowly moving away from using products that have been tested on animals. I have a cat myself, and animal testing just makes me sick. I know some of us are gonna argue that we can't help what we eat and all, but at least we can control what we put on our faces and bodies, right? We eat to survive, but we don't need to sacrifice animals to make ourselves look movie-star pretty. There are plenty of alternatives out there, products that are free of animal-testing, and that's the direction I'm going in. It's a huge mess out there, the cosmetics industry, and we all contribute to that mess. But I hope that my small step in the cruelty-free direction will ultimately help all the animals in the world to be free from testing. One can only hope.

junny@5.50am